The Scattering
These mornings
of getting caught in the rain
Bring me closer
To the scattering of me
Not from disintegration of depression
Not from shattering of grief
Not from splintering of distraction
Not from self-destruction of compassion fatigue
Though each have been my great teacher
in becoming the scattering
These mornings
of getting caught in the rain
Bring me closer
To the scattering of me
As if I am becoming the rain
Dissolving and kissing the receptive earth
Covering everything in wet kisses
The trees bent elbows of naked branches
Reaching toward wintering sky
The thorny angled blackberry arms
intruding on my path to beach
My dogs wonky trotting with one left hind leg
sticking further out from under his hips
catching more of my wet kisses
These mornings
of getting caught in the rain
Bring me closer to french kissing
Everything in equanimity
Falling truly deeply universally in love
With the scattering of me
As if I no longer matter as a singular being
Not that I am no longer loved
Not that my love doesn’t matter
Not that my love is diluted
These mornings
of getting caught in the rain
Bring me closer to how my love
My truest deepest unitive love
Is in my dissolution
In my scattering like the rain
With wet kisses onto everything
everywhere all at once
The rocks upturned overnight by the tide
The mailbox with upright flag
holding outgoing letters
The solar panels quietly turning sun
into energy like the leaves on trees
The spider webs spun moments ago
hoping to catch some breakfast
My husbands knitted hat covering his ears
as he widens his eyes to take in
another day of beauty
My recently widowed neighbors brimmed hat
walking loops in the fog of grief
The wings of the ducks synchronized flight
making a bellowing chord in response
to singular note of eagles morning hymn
These mornings
of getting caught in the rain
Bring me closer to the scattering of me
casting my love everywhere all at once
Yet Never running out of love,
no compassion fatigue
Yet Never giving more love to one place
than another, no grief
Yet Never leaving with my scattering, no distraction
Being right here and right there with my wet kisses,
no depression
While the ground stays wet
While my love remains soaked into
Whomever, whatever heart needed the drink today
These mornings
of getting caught in the rain—
Let me drink them in with my skin today
Let me become the scattering
of 1000 wet kisses of universal love
