presumption of Trust

Don’t change lanes on the bridge

The signs read as my youngest daughter

Drives on the freeway for the first time

I find myself reading signs, my thoughts

Out loud in a calm supportive voice

from the passenger seat, in a role reversal

A familiar state of presumed trust

Having taught three other teens to drive

A presumed trust

As if she has already arrived safely

On the otherside of the abyss

A presumed trust that

as new mother I had to bring forth

From somewhere

both deep within & far beyond me

Even after the death of my first child

There is no changing lanes in motherhood

Only the presumed trust,

that the arrival on the otherside

will be met somehow

one full breath at a time,

held, then released

There is no other way

but to keep breathing

Keep going

Keep loving

into the next moment

in faith that we are enough

Across the abyss of our lives

No other lane to raise a child to leap

Then with presumed trust that

they are enough, they WILL

make their own crossing

Even as I held my first

as she crossed over in death,

one full breath held,

then released—

I knew in faith

From somewhere

both deep within & far beyond me

she made it across the abyss

Somehow, miraculously I am too